Why this first
Every one of your three priorities — bureaucracy, everyday errands, and meeting people — opens with a greeting and an introduction. The catch: Italian has two registers, formal and informal, and using the wrong one in the wrong place reads as either rude or oddly stiff. Get this right and you've already handled the first ten seconds of every interaction you'll have in Italy.
The one thing to learn: tu vs Lei
Italian has two ways of saying "you": tu (informal) and Lei (formal — note the capital L, and yes, it's the same word used for "she"). Which one you use changes your verb endings too, but for now, just learn when each applies:
| Use Lei (formal) | Use tu (informal) |
|---|---|
| Comune, questura, any official | Friends, people your age you're meeting socially |
| Shopkeepers, waiters (until invited otherwise) | Children |
| Anyone visibly older than you, first meeting | Someone who's already used tu with you |
Rule of thumb for your situation: default to Lei with anyone you don't personally know yet — you can never offend by being too formal. Neighbours often move to tu quickly once you're introduced; let them lead.
The full subject pronoun paradigm
Tu and Lei are two of six subject pronouns. Here's the complete set — this is what every verb conjugation table (starting with Lesson 2) will be built on:
| Person | Pronoun | Notes |
|---|---|---|
| 1st singular | io | I |
| 2nd singular, informal | tu | you (friends, family, peers, children) |
| 3rd singular | lui / lei | he / she |
| 2nd singular, formal | Lei | you (formal) — grammatically identical to "she," capitalized to tell them apart |
| 1st plural | noi | we |
| 2nd plural | voi | you (plural) — see note below |
| 3rd plural | loro | they |
Exception: there's no formal/informal split at the plural
This trips up English speakers, because English has the opposite gap: we distinguish singular/plural "you" informally ("you" vs. "you guys/y'all") but Italian's real split is formality, and that split disappears at the plural. In everyday modern Italian, voi is the all-purpose "you-plural" — the same word for addressing three close friends or three customers in a shop. There's technically a formal plural, Loro (capitalized, third person), but it's archaic today — you'll mainly hear it from waitstaff at very formal restaurants ("Cosa desiderano Loro?"). Don't worry about producing it yourself; just recognize it if you ever hear it.
Why is Lei capitalized — and grammatically "she"?
This isn't arbitrary. In the 1500s, Italian aristocratic courts borrowed the Spanish custom of addressing people indirectly, in the third person, as a mark of respect — you didn't say "you," you said the equivalent of "Your Lordship will know…" Italian's version was Vostra Signoria ("Your Lordship"), a grammatically feminine noun (la Signoria). Over time the phrase wore down to just its pronoun core — Lei — but it kept the feminine agreement it started with. That's why formal-you takes lei's verb forms regardless of who you're speaking to, and capitalization survives in careful writing specifically to keep "formal you" visually distinct from "she."
Greetings by time of day
| Italian | When | Register |
|---|---|---|
| Buongiorno | Morning through mid-afternoon | Formal & informal — always safe |
| Buonasera | Evening (roughly from late afternoon) | Formal & informal — always safe |
| Salve | Any time, when unsure how formal to be | Neutral — great default with strangers |
| Ciao | Any time | Informal only — never with an official or stranger |
Introducing yourself
| Italian | Meaning |
|---|---|
| Mi chiamo Andrea. | My name is Andrea. (lit. "I call myself Andrea") |
| Sono Andrea. | I'm Andrea. |
| Piacere. | Nice to meet you. (say this after they respond) |
| Come si chiama? / Come ti chiami? | What's your name? (Lei / tu) |
Hearing it: quick pronunciation note
Italian is far more phonetic than English — once you know the rules, spelling tells you the sound. The one habit worth building now: every vowel gets one consistent sound, and stress usually falls on the second-to-last syllable (bu·on·GIOR·no, pia·CE·re). Don't try to memorize a full pronunciation system yet — that's what the primary source below is for. Just listen for this pattern as you go.
Lucrezia (native speaker, DITALS-certified teacher) on exactly this distinction, with real examples of when Italians switch between them.
Practice
You walk into the questura for a permesso di soggiorno appointment. How do you greet the official at the desk?
Fill in the blank: "___ Andrea." (introducing yourself by name, the most common way)
You're introduced to a neighbour at an apartment building social. What's the safest opening greeting if you're unsure how formal to be?
Fill in the blank: you're addressing three people at once — doesn't matter if they're close friends or strangers. "___ volete un caffè?" (Do you all want a coffee?)
→ Open the reference cheat sheet for this lesson, worth printing and keeping handy for your first weeks.